


The Next Right Thing

by vanillaxo



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gen, Natasha Romanov Lives, Not Avengers: Endgame (Movie) Compliant, Penny Parker - Freeform, Peter Parker Has a Twin, Peter Parker Needs a Hug, Peter Parker Whump, Tony Stark Acting as Peter Parker's Parental Figure, Tony Stark Lives
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-04-08
Packaged: 2021-03-01 01:14:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 14,079
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23356804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/vanillaxo/pseuds/vanillaxo
Summary: Peter couldn’t breathe. For a second, he was wondering if he was turning to dust again. After a few moments he realized he wasn’t, because this was far worse. Far, far worse.His mind flashed with memories of his sister, the sole person who was with him through it all, the one who he loved more than anything in this whole planet, and he felt his heart break. He literally felt pressure on his chest, at the spot above his heart, and he clutched it in pain as he felt his throat tighten.-Or, Peter comes back from the snap but his twin sister Penny doesn’t. He struggles to adjust.
Relationships: Peter Parker & Morgan Stark (Marvel Cinematic Universe), Peter Parker & Pepper Potts, Peter Parker & Pepper Potts & Tony Stark, Peter Parker & Tony Stark
Comments: 12
Kudos: 107





	1. Where to Next?

**Author's Note:**

> “𝘐 𝘋𝘖𝘕'𝘛 𝘊𝘈𝘙𝘌!" 𝘏𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘺𝘦𝘭𝘭𝘦𝘥 𝘢𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦𝘮, 𝘴𝘯𝘢𝘵𝘤𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘢 𝘭𝘶𝘯𝘢𝘴𝘤𝘰𝘱𝘦 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘯𝘵𝘰 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘪𝘳𝘦𝘱𝘭𝘢𝘤𝘦. "𝘐'𝘝𝘌 𝘏𝘈𝘋 𝘌𝘕𝘖𝘜𝘎𝘏, 𝘐'𝘝𝘌 𝘚𝘌𝘌𝘕 𝘌𝘕𝘖𝘜𝘎𝘏, 𝘐 𝘞𝘈𝘕𝘛 𝘖𝘜𝘛, 𝘐 𝘞𝘈𝘕𝘛 𝘐𝘛 𝘛𝘖 𝘌𝘕𝘋, 𝘐 𝘋𝘖𝘕'𝘛 𝘊𝘈𝘙𝘌 𝘈𝘕𝘠𝘔𝘖𝘙𝘌!"
> 
> "𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘰 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦," 𝘴𝘢𝘪𝘥 𝘋𝘶𝘮𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘥𝘰𝘳𝘦. 𝘏𝘦 𝘩𝘢𝘥 𝘯𝘰𝘵 𝘧𝘭𝘪𝘯𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥 𝘰𝘳 𝘮𝘢𝘥𝘦 𝘢 𝘴𝘪𝘯𝘨𝘭𝘦 𝘮𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘏𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘥𝘦𝘮𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘩𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘩𝘪𝘴 𝘰𝘧𝘧𝘪𝘤𝘦. 𝘏𝘪𝘴 𝘦𝘹𝘱𝘳𝘦𝘴𝘴𝘪𝘰𝘯 𝘸𝘢𝘴 𝘤𝘢𝘭𝘮, 𝘢𝘭𝘮𝘰𝘴𝘵 𝘥𝘦𝘵𝘢𝘤𝘩𝘦𝘥. "𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘤𝘢𝘳𝘦 𝘴𝘰 𝘮𝘶𝘤𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘧𝘦𝘦𝘭 𝘢𝘴 𝘵𝘩𝘰𝘶𝘨𝘩 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘸𝘪𝘭𝘭 𝘣𝘭𝘦𝘦𝘥 𝘵𝘰 𝘥𝘦𝘢𝘵𝘩 𝘸𝘪𝘵𝘩 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘢𝘪𝘯 𝘰𝘧 𝘪𝘵.”  
> 𝘏𝘢𝘳𝘳𝘺 𝘗𝘰𝘵𝘵𝘦𝘳 𝘢𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘖𝘳𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘰𝘧 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘗𝘩𝘰𝘦𝘯𝘪𝘹

Peter and Penny did everything together. A large part of it was because they were twins and were together since they were in their mother’s womb, but still, neither could imagine life without the other.

Each of them had become so intertwined into each other’s lives. They went through everything together.

When their parents died and they were suddenly under the care of their Aunt May and Uncle Ben, they found solace in each other.

When Penny came to Peter crying and red in the face after Skip Westcott left the house, Peter held his sister, his fists clenched and his eyes narrowed in revenge.

When Uncle Ben died, they held tightly to one another as they lowered their third parent figure into the ground.

When Peter became Spider-Man, Penny cried and screamed at her brother, terrified at the prospect of losing him too. Peter cried with her, too.

When Aunt May died, they both held each other’s hands, as if their connected hands were the only things keeping them planted to Earth.

When Tony Stark and Pepper Potts legally became the Parker twins parents, they refusedto leave each other’s sides for even a moment, afraid and uncertain after experiencing so much loss in their lives.

All they ever had was each other.

So when Peter’s once dusted body brought itself back together, his first thought went to his family.  _ Penny. Mr. Stark. Ms. Potts . _

But he barely had any time to even think for just a moment, because next thing he knew he was on a battlefield, and Mr. Stark had snapped, and he had heard his heartbeat stop. 

Peter would have given anything to go back in time one more time to be the one to snap instead of Mr. Stark.

Anyone but him.

But Dr. Strange had opened a portal and hurriedly told them that Mr. Stark could be saved if they brought him to his sanctum quickly.

At that, Rhodey had jumped to his feet and gently yet quickly carried Mr. Stark into his arms, Pepper supporting his head as they hurried to follow Dr. Strange.

Peter wasn’t sure if he was permitted to follow them, his red eyes following Mr. Stark’s figure even as his feet stayed rooted to the floor.

“Sweetie,” Peter heard Pepper call to him softly, placing her hand on his cheek. “Let’s go.”

Peter’s throat felt tight, and he wasn’t sure if he could speak, so he merely nodded and silently thanked Pepper for holding his hand as they went through the portal. He didn’t realize just how much he needed the physical touch.

Tony was rushed into a room in the sanctum with Dr. Strange at the lead, but not before he promised Pepper and Peter that they’d do everything they could to save Tony.

Pepper offered a wet, grateful _thank you_ , and Peter marveled at how she was able to form words at this time.

Right as the door shut, Pepper squeezed her adoptive son’s hand tighter and turned to him, taking in his face as if for the first time since she wasn’t able to do so with all the events that just occurred.

As Pepper looked at Peter, completely taking him in, he took the time to do the same. She luckily didn’t look to have any serious injuries aside from a small gash on her head that left a trickle of blood on her forehead. Her eyes, however, shone with tears, and he wasn’t sure if it was because she was looking at him or because Mr. Stark was fighting for his life- or both.

Peter wasn’t entirely sure what was going on- he briefly understood that he, along with others, were dead for five years- and he wasn’t really able to digest that fact just yet.

But with the way Pepper was drinking him in, he felt some of that reality sink in. “Oh, Peter,” Pepper said almost desperately before she pulled him into a tight hug.

Peter wrapped his own arms around her, surprised by just how tight she was hugging him and feeling the tremble of her body.

“Ms. Potts,” Peter’s voice came out in a raspy whisper, and Pepper’s hold only tightened.

“Pepper,” She corrected immediately. “I’ve told you before, honey. Call me Pepper, please.”

Peter cleared his throat. “Pepper,” he said, his voice a little stronger, now softly rubbing her back comfortingly. “Are you okay?”

Pepper let out a shudder, the whole weight of everything hitting her now. Every bone in her body was trembling at the fact that her husband was in the next room, dead with possibly no chance of coming back to them, but everything in her was also aching in relief and joy at having Peter back again, and being able to hold him after five long years.

It was too many emotions to handle, too many thoughts crossing Pepper’s brain, and for the first time in her life, she wasn’t sure she could handle it. So she didn’t reply to her son and instead continued to hug him, smoothing the hair on the back of his head as she did so.

Peter let himself sink further into the hug, burrowing his head in his adoptive mom’s neck, tears spilling from his eyes. It was then, in the quiet safety of Pepper’s arms, that reality began to sink in on him.

Five years had passed. Thanos had won. 50% of all living things had gone. But they came back- how wasn’t clear to him just yet- and Tony had saved the universe. And they had won, apparently, but with Tony’s life hanging by a thread, Peter was certain that they hadn’t.

“I’m sorry,” Peter’s voice once again fell into a whisper. Pepper pulled away at his words, and her hands flew to wipe the tears streaming down his cheeks, ignoring the tears on her own face.

“You have absolutely nothing to be sorry for, Peter,” Pepper said softly but firmly. “Words cannot describe how thankful and happy I am to have you back. We’ve missed you so much.”

Pepper’s voice couldn’t stop trembling, causing more tears to fall from Peter’s face. He’s never seen his mom so vulnerable. Peter couldn’t help the choked sob escape his lips, his eyes falling shut.

Pepper gently grabbed Peter’s face and placed a kiss on his forehead, before guiding them to a bench a few steps away from them, letting Peter sob into her neck.

After a few moments passed and Peter’s sobs turned into uneasy breathing, he asked, “He’ll be okay, won’t he?”

Pepper shut her eyes tightly at this and sucked in a breath, the pain of it all too much. “I hope so, honey. I hope so.”

* * *

After spending 5 hours at the Sanctum, Pepper and Peter still dirtied with the blood and broken armor on their bodies, Dr. Strange finally came to them, telling them that Tony was alive, but he was still in deep healing. 

They had to amputate his arm, but they all agreed that they’d rather have him one arm less than dead.

Dr. Strange told them that by then, it was up to Tony himself to wake up. It could be a few days, a few weeks, maybe even a month.

But Pepper and Peter didn’t care. All they cared about was that he was alive.

Given the all-clear by Dr. Strange, they transferred Tony to the lake house. Pepper felt that Tony would prefer to wake up in his own home rather than a cold hospital bed.

Everything suddenly seemed a lot more bearable once they learned that Tony would be okay. Tony had saved the universe, and he had stayed alive while doing so. They could definitely get through that.

And then they returned to the lake house.

It was there that Peter learned that he had a new younger sister. His shock, which quickly turned to joy, at meeting Morgan dissipated rapidly as she wrapped her arms around him in a hug and Peter realized there was someone missing from this equation.

Peter gently pulled away from Morgan, trying to ignore the buzzing around his ears and the hairs on his arms raising upwards.

“Pepper,” Peter’s voice was tense as he stood up and faced his mom, whose own warm smile at seeing the two of them meet began to waver. “Where’s Penny?”

Peter didn’t miss the way Pepper’s eyes crinkled in pain, the beginnings of tears beginning to shine in her eyes. “Peter,” Pepper started, in the same careful, warning voice that everybody used before they told someone bad news.

“No,” Peter’s voice was angry and firm- not at Pepper or anyone in particular, but more in disbelief at what he knew was coming. “No, no, no, no, no, no.”

Pepper pursed her lips and her eyebrows furrowed as if she was holding back tears before she turned to her youngest child. “Morgan, go find Uncle Happy and tell him to get you a juice pop, okay?”

Pepper tried to plaster a happy smile on her face to her daughter, knowing that juice pops would get Morgan to leave the room and away from a conversation her little ears shouldn’t hear.

As Morgan clapped her hands happily with a loud “okay!” and she sped out of the room, Pepper turned back to her son. “Peter-“ She began but Peter interrupted her, his eyes screwing shut as he placed his hands over his ears and shook his head back and forth.

“No, you’re wrong. You’re lying. You have to be. She was just with me. I saw her just yesterday morn- I mean five years-“ Peter’s voice broke and he fell to the floor in anguish. “No. You’re wrong. No.”

Pepper kneeled in front of him on the floor, trying to gently pry his hands away from his ears. “Sweetheart, I am so, so sorry. She’s gone, baby. I’m so sorry.”

Peter’s eyes flew open and he was shocked to see the tears that already blurred his vision. “Mr. Stark snapped his fingers. He brought everyone back. She’s alive.”

Pepper was full-on crying now, the pain of losing her first daughter forever weighing on her heart.

“She didn’t get snapped, Pete. She... she survived the snap. But... she was in a car with one of her friends when it happened and that friend... she was snapped. She was the driver. Penny...” Pepper took in a deep, painful breath at this. “Penny died on impact. It happened so fast.”

Peter couldn’t breathe. For a second, he was wondering if he was turning to dust again. After a few moments he realized he wasn’t, because this was far worse. Far, far worse.

His mind flashed with memories of his sister, the sole person who was with him through it all, the one who he loved more than anything in this whole planet, and he felt his heart break. He literally felt pressure on his chest, at the spot above his heart, and he clutched it in pain as he felt his throat tighten.

“Peter, breathe with me sweetheart. I know it’s hard. I’m so, so sorry,” Pepper pleaded, doing her best to stay strong for her son, but dammit, it was  _ so hard . _

Peter just kept shaking his head, clawing at his chest, his eyes blurring over as he felt himself fall. He was sinking further and further but he didn’t care. He didn’t care that he couldn’t breathe and he didn’t care that he was probably scaring the crap out of Pepper. He couldn’t really tell what was happening anymore.

“FRIDAY, call Dr. Cho,” Pepper managed to say, merely holding her son as he struggled to breathe, turning more and more pale as time went on.

Within a matter of seconds (Pepper couldn’t be more grateful for the fact that she was housing all the battered Avengers because that meant Dr. Cho was also there and on call) Dr. Cho alongside other doctors ran in the room, a needle in her hand since FRIDAY had already briefed her on what was happening. Steve, Natasha, and Thor all came in after Dr. Cho, and paused in the doorway at the sight before them.

Dr. Cho wasted no time in injecting Peter with the needle, which caused Peter’s eyes to shut and his body to fall flat. The doctors lifted Peter onto a gurney. “He’ll be okay, Pepper. We just had to knock him out to calm him down otherwise he would’ve passed out. We’ll hook him up to oxygen in his room and he should wake up in another hour or so.”

As she spoke, Pepper nodded slowly and numbly, still kneeling on the floor, her eyes glazed. Dr. Cho looked over to the Avengers at the doorway with sympathy, before Natasha nodded her head and crouched down to Pepper while they wheeled Peter away.

“It’s okay, Pepper,” Natasha said, pulling Pepper’s head to rest against Natasha’s chest.

This seemed to wake up Pepper, whose face scrunched up out of despair as she allowed herself to wail onto her friend’s chest.

Natasha held onto Pepper tightly, letting the woman scream and cry onto her, letting her drop the facade that she was okay, letting her be something other than strong for just a moment.

Natasha briefly looked over to Steve and Thor, sadness in her eyes, and found that they looked the same way.

They may have won, having undid the snap that destroyed their lives just five years ago, saving the universe, but at that moment, it was so hard to ignore just how much they had lost, too.

* * *

The world had ended.

That, Peter was sure about.

He didn’t care that in actuality, the world was saved, and if there was any time where the world had really ended, it was five years ago when Thanos snapped his fingers for the first time.

All he knew was that he was thrown into a world he didn’t belong in anymore, and his one true tether to this Earth, this  life , had died.

After waking up hooked up to an oxygen machine in a room that was apparently his (judging by the Star Wars posters pinned to the walls and the pictures of Peter with his loved ones scattered all throughout the room), Peter didn’t scream or cry. He wasn’t even sure if he breathed.

All he could do was blink.

Pepper had came in a minute after he’d awoken, no doubt having been told by FRIDAY, all gentle and soothing words.

But Peter didn’t care.

Peter could tell by the way Pepper held onto his hand and rubbed it softly that she was worried. That she was in pain too.

But Peter couldn’t help her. He couldn’t help Penny so he sure as hell couldn’t help his mom. He’d only disappoint her.

“Sweetheart,” Pepper urged gently, trying not to let the concern she felt show as she looked at her son, whose gaze hadn’t shifted from the wall ahead of him, his lips set in a firm line. If it wasn’t for the rise and fall of Peter’s chest, Pepper would think he was dead.

The thought sent a chill down her spine.

“I just wanted to let you know that you don’t need to talk if you don’t want to, but that I’ll be here any time you need me, alright? For any question, or if you just want to.. sit, I’m here.”

Pepper was met with silence, and she swallowed the thickness in her throat. She squeezed Peter’s hand one more time before standing up from her spot to leave the room. “Tony, Morgan, and I love you so much, Peter. Please don’t ever forget that.”

Once the door closed, Peter bit the inside of his mouth and looked down at his hands.

_ It should’ve been me _ _,_ his thoughts spun loudly in his head.  _I’m Spider-Man. It was always a possibility that I’d die young, not Penny. Penny was young, smart, and healthy. She was supposed to live a long, normal life. And she wasn’t even able to graduate high school_. 

Peter didn’t realize that he was digging into his skin so hard until blood began to ooze out of his hands and fell onto his sheets. 

He should’ve felt pain, but he felt nothing. 

He was dust. 

* * *

Six days passed and Peter hadn’t left his room even once. Six days passed and Peter hadn’t spoken even a word to himself nor to others. 

Pepper tried. She visited his room countless times throughout the day each day to try to get him to eat, to update him on Tony’s progress, to try and get him to speak to her or go outside for just a moment, but nothing worked. Even the Avengers, who Peter would flip out over at just the mention of them, came to visit every now and then, and nothing. Nobody was able to get a word out of Peter. 

By the sixth day, Pepper stopped trying to get a word out of her son and told herself that he was in grief. He’d speak when he was ready. She instead focused on making sure Peter was healthy enough, and still spoke to him even if it was a one-way conversation. She hoped it would urge him to speak to her. 

Tony woke up on the ninth day. 

He jolted awake in a panic, uncertainty clouding his mind until his vision took in Pepper beside him, who was holding his left hand tightly and was looking at him with tearful eyes. 

He relaxed under her gaze, and went to cup her cheek with his right hand until...  _ Oh _ . 

Tony looked back up at Pepper once he saw the empty space where his right arms usuallywas, and she gave him a watery smile. “It was either the arm or your life.”

Tony let out a relieved smile and closed his eyes, resting his head back against his pillow. He didn’t care that he lost an arm. He knew he’d be able to build himself a new one. All he cared about was that he did it- he brought them all back and he didn’t die trying. 

His eyes flew open suddenly. “Morgan? Peter?” Tony asked frantically, and Pepper was quick to appease him. 

“Morgan is swimming in the lake with Rhodey, Steve, Natasha, and the others. She’s been enjoying all the attention.”

Tony let out a mini sigh of relief knowing his daughter was okay, but he wasn’t completely relaxed. “And Peter?” He asked, his voice full of hope. 

Pepper gave a half smile. “Peter’s in his room.”

Tony let out a breath, his eyes beginning to water. This was all he ever wanted. “I need to see him.”

Tony’s relief was short-lived, however, when he saw the frown that Pepper tried to hide grace her face. He was always good at reading her. “Peter’s... adjusting. I think he needs more time.” 

“Then bring him here. He’s my kid. I’ll help him,” Tony’s eyebrows furrowed, his worry obvious to anyone who looked at him. 

Pepper pursed her lips sadly and shook her head. “I’ll tell him you’re awake, but I don’t think he’ll come down here, Tony. You’ve been asleep for nine days and a lot has happened in that time frame.”

This only made Tony more worried. “I created time travel and nearly killed myself to bring my son back- he should be here with me, Pep. What the hell has been going on?”

Pepper resisted the urge to rub her temples. She was exhausted. 

“You died on that battlefield, Tony. That’s something we’re all trying to come to terms with. But Peter… he heard your heart literally stop.” Tony felt himself cringe at that, the guilt of everything hitting him. The last thing he wanted was for Peter to be there– to watch him die like he had watched Peter die those five years ago. That was a pain he would never wish on anyone, much less his kid. “But after five agonizing hours of us holding onto each other for dear life while Doctor Strange worked on you at the Sanctum, he told us you were alive. Not in the best of conditions, but alive, and that was enough. Things started to get better from there, but…”

Pepper cleared her throat, her eyes flashing with emotion, and Tony gripped her hand tightly. He wished he could get up to wrap his arms around her shoulder to share some of her pain with her. 

“He met Morgan. She… she loved him immediately, of course. She remembered him from all your stories. It was the best moment, Tony, you would’ve loved it so much. But then, Peter realized… he realized that there was someone missing,” Tears formed in Pepper’s eyes. “I should’ve prepared him sooner. I should’ve… I should’ve known that he’d notice she was absent,  _ god _ , she was his sister, of course he would…”

“Pep,” Tony whispered, his voice now hoarse and thick with emotion. 

Pepper went on as if she didn’t hear him, her eyes and voice still haunted. “But I so desperately wanted happiness for just a moment– it’s been hell, and I was just so happy to have Peter back and to have him and Morgan together, so I suppose I fooled myself into thinking that I’d have more time to prepare not only Peter, but myself for the conversation… it was stupid of me.”

Lightly tugging her hand, Pepper was forced to look into her husband’s eyes– which were shining with unshed tears, as if he were willing to hold them back, much like her. “First off, stupid’s a mean word. Morgan wouldn’t be too happy to hear that.”

Pepper let out an airy, painful laugh. It was the first time she had laughed in nine days. She had missed Tony so much. 

Tony looked down as he let out a small smile before looking back up at her. “Second, it’s not your fault. Don’t you dare take from my guilty tendencies,” Pepper rolled her eyes at this, feeling more life crawling into her soul with every second she spent with Tony. “You shouldn’t have been the one to break the news to him. At least not alone. I wish I could’ve been there… I should have. But, Pep, he would’ve figured it out sooner or later. I’m just glad that he had his mom with him.”

Pepper let out a choked laugh, the emotions becoming too much for her to speak any longer. She merely grabbed Tony’s left hand with both of her hands. 

“I miss her,” Pepper whispered. Tony felt a tear fall from his right eye but he had no free hand to wipe it away with. Instead he looked down at the hands gripping his own, swallowing the lump in his throat. 

“I do, too,” Tony replied. “So much.”

“It doesn’t feel fair that we were only able to bring back Peter and not her,” Pepper grieved. The atmosphere in the room felt heavy. “I just pray that she doesn’t feel upset with us… for Morgan and now for Peter.”

“Never,” Tony choked out. “That girl never had a spiteful, selfish bone in her body. She was too good for this world.”  _ So maybe that’s the reason why she was taken from us _ , Tony couldn’t help but think, but shoved that thought away before it engulfed him.

Pepper only nodded, quickly wiping a traitor tear that fell. She was so tired of crying.

They remained silent for a few moments, holding onto each others hands as the only sounds that could be heard were the heart monitor hooked to Tony and the soft breathing of one another.

“I miss him, too,” Pepper said finally, her voice a lot stronger but still seeping sadness with every word.

Tony shut his eyes and let out a breath.  _ But he’s here _ , he wanted to say.  _He’s not in the soul stone anymore. He’s alive_.

Tony knew Peter was here. He made sure of it. But he also knew that a piece of the Peter they knew five years ago was gone and wasn’t coming back. And he wasn’t sure of the Peter they got back.

All Tony knew was that he loved Peter fiercely, and he’d do anything to help him.

He didn’t know how, and he didn’t know when. But having Peter here, a little worse for wear and in pain, but here nonetheless, was way better than having him tucked away in the soil stone. Dead. Gone.

Tony remained silent. 

* * *

_The dust settled._

_For a second, Peter thought he was in his room back at Aunt May’s apartment. But once the world came into focus, the vibrant orange came into view._

_He was in the soul stone._

_He knew that he should’ve felt panicked. Lost. Afraid._

_But instead, he felt numb. Dead._

_He took one look around, seeing an endless sea of orange wherever he looked, and shut his eyes._

_“Peter?”_

_Peter’s eyes flew open upon hearing that voice, and he felt his heart lurch._

_“Penny?” Peter hated the desperation in his voice as his eyes raked his surroundings, until his eyes fell on the figure standing before him, and he felt his heart stop._

_“Penny,” Peter’s voice was now dripping in pained urgency, picking himself up to approach his twin sister._

_But before Peter could reach her to grab her into a hug, she vanished in his arms.  
  
“Penny?” Peter’s voice hitched, starting to feel as if all the orange was suffocating him. Like there was dust in the air of all the orange filling his lungs. He whipped his head around, searching desperately for a sign of his sister. _

_She appeared suddenly in thin air, and Peter was only able to feel a second of relief as he went towards her, desperate to hug her, to feel that she was truly alive, but that relief disappeared as soon as she opened her mouth._

_“Why didn’t you save me?”_

_Peter halted in his tracks, the slow humming of the orange world growing louder around his ears.  
_

_“If you had stayed on Earth like Tony said, you could’ve saved me. You didn’t listen. Now I’m dead, Peter.”_

_Peter shook his head frantically, desperation becoming the only emotion he could feel. He could almost taste it. “No, Penny, I didn’t know, you know I’d do anything for-“_

_Penny’s voice cut him off. “Now we’ve been replaced, Peter. They were never ours. We didn’t belong with them. That’s why I died and you did too.”_

_Peter shook his head, cowering his head as he pulled at his hair. “That’s not true.”_

_“Oh, but Peter, it is. They had Morgan to replace me. They would’ve had a son to replace you, too. Now you’re getting in their way of having a real son.”_

_“Stop it,” Peter screamed, tugging harder and harder as his breathing hitched._

_“Everyone around you dies. First mom and dad, then Uncle Ben, then Aunt May, and now me. Tony’s heart stopped too. It’s only a matter of time before they leave you and you’re all alone with nothing to comfort you but your own guilt.”_

_Her voice grew louder and louder, and Peter had to clap his hands over his ears to try to make it quieter. “Please,” he begged, too pained to open his eyes or even move._

_“Why didn’t you save me Peter?”_

_Louder._

_“Why?”_

_Louder._

_“WHY?”_

Peter jolted up with a loud gasp, struggling to get air into his lungs. As the orange faded from his vision, he looked around and noted that he was in his own room at the lake house, trying to calm himself down and stop himself from crying. 

“Peter, you seem to be in distress. Would you like me to wake Boss or Pepper?”

Peter shook his head rapidly, still trying to get air in his lungs. 

“No,” Peter’s voice cracked, his throat burning as he used his voice for the very first time in 14 days. Words now felt foreign in his mouth, but something in him urged him to say more. “No, FRIDAY. I’m fine.”

“As you wish, Peter.”

Peter took a few more moments to get his breathing in order, clutching his chest tightly as the dream replayed over and over in his head. 

After nearly five minutes had passed of Peter staring at the wall ahead of him, FRIDAY’s voice jolted him out of his reverie. 

“Boss wanted me to inform you that he is awake and would love to see you, Peter.”

Peter looked at the ceiling, taking in the AI’s words. He cleared his throat once more before opening his mouth, words now spilling out of him like a dam. “Tell him to go back to sleep, FRI. He needs the rest.”

Only after he had said it did Peter realize that that was the first time he’s actually responded to FRIDAY’s relayed messages from Tony–since Peter hadn’t gone to visit Tony since he woke up a few days ago despite Pepper’s urging, Tony took it upon himself to constantly have FRIDAY relay his messages to Peter. 

He regretted opening his mouth instantly.  
  
A few more moments passed before FRIDAY’s voice was heard through the room.

“Boss has informed me that he is pleased to find that you are feeling well enough to use your voice again.”

Peter pursed his lips and looked at the wall ahead of him, learning from his previous mistake. He kept his mouth shut. 

Peter stayed awake, motionless on his bed, for another hour. FRIDAY hadn’t relayed any more messages to Peter, to which Peter was grateful for. 

He checked the clock at his bedside table, which read 7:43AM. Peter knew that Pepper would be coming into his room soon to check in on him and speak with him, hoping he’d respond all the while not expecting him to, either. 

He knew that he should feel guilty. He knew that he should feel guilty that he wasn’t speaking to Pepper, when her efforts to be there for him have not once wavered. He knew that he should feel guilty that he hadn’t gone to visit Mr. Stark, who desperately wanted him to judging by the frequent messages he made FRIDAY relay. He knew that he should feel guilty about ignoring Morgan, who only wanted to play with him, her youthful innocence unable to comprehend why her big brother didn’t want to play with her.

Peter knew he should feel guilt over all these things. But he didn’t. He couldn’t  _ feel _ , period. 

Maybe he came back wrong. 

Or maybe he didn’t fully come back. Maybe parts of him were still in the stone. 

But he didn’t care what the case was. Numb meant that he didn’t feel pain, or grief, or sadness, or anything at all. And he’d have that over the misery that used to be so consistent in his life any day.

A knock on the door broke him out of his thoughts, and his eyes found the familiar figure standing at the doorway with a tray in her hands. 

“Good morning, sweetheart,” Pepper said, affection tracing every word- though Peter couldn’t hear it. 

He said nothing. 

However, Pepper continued on, an affectionate smile still on her face as she went over to place the tray next to him. 

Peter couldn’t help but glance at the food on the tray, taking in the messy chocolate chip pancakes, which looked like someone attempted to make a smiley face out of the chocolate chips but the heat of pancakes soaked it up, making it a messy, melted, chocolatey mess. 

Pepper offered him an apologetic smile. “Morgan wanted to help with breakfast this morning. She tried to make a smiley face for you, but a five year old can only make it so neat. Sorry if it’s too much chocolate. The little miss demanded there be a lot of chocolate because it would, and I quote, ‘make Petey feel better.’”

Peter, for the first time, felt an urge to speak, but he quickly suppressed it, turning his head away from the thoughtful meal and instead towards the hands on his lap. 

Pepper eyed him, as she usually did, but her gaze felt heavier today. Like she knew something he didn’t. 

“Tony’s been asking about you. As usual. Actually, I think he speaks more about you than he does anything else,” Pepper tried to make her voice as casual as usual as she watched Peter closely, who clenched his jaw at the mention of his adoptive father. “He’s wondering when you might visit him. I think he’s going especially crazy now that there’s less visitors since the Avengers have left for the Tower.”

Peter still kept his gaze on his hands, but Pepper noticed that his gaze was harder, as if he were holding himself back somehow. 

“Tony also mentioned that he had FRIDAY relay another message to you,” Pepper decided to test the waters. “As usual, of course. But this time, you replied back to him. You used that beautiful voice that you’ve been hiding from us.”

Pepper heard Peter inhale a sharp breath, and she leaned her head lightly to the side to get a better look at him. 

“I’m not going to pretend to know how you feel, Peter. I can’t imagine the amount of unease and grief you must be facing all at once. But I know a little of what you feel, because I’ve had to come to terms with losing both of my kids at the same time five years ago, along with losing half the world in the process. So I just want you to know that I can’t fully understand how you feel, unless you talk to me. I want to understand. I want to help because you are my kid just as much as you are Tony’s and I love you. Please talk to me, Pete. I know you can hear me. Let me in.”

Pepper waited patiently at his side, waiting for something, _anything_ , to come out of her son’s mouth. She could tell he wanted to, he desperately wanted to, but something was holding him back. 

After a few minutes of Peter staring intensely at his hands without wavering, Pepper couldn’t help the soft sigh leave her lips as she stood to leave. 

Suddenly, as if his body was moving without permission, Peter’s left hand reached out and grabbed Pepper’s wrist before she could fully stand up to leave. 

Peter’s eyes were wide, as if shocked that his body moved on its own accord. 

Pepper’s eyes widened slightly, her heart beating fast but she remained quiet and patient, knowing they were reaching a point of no return. 

“I-“ Peter croaked, and Pepper immediately softened, sitting back down to grip Peter’s hand tightly. “I-I just... Can you stay? Just until I fall asleep?”

He spoke slowly and uneasily, as if hearing himself for the first time, but Pepper couldn’t care less because the widest smile grew on her face. 

“Of course I’ll stay, Peter. I wouldn’t want to be anywhere else.”

The corner of Peter’s lips twitched.  
He breathed easier for the first time in 14 days.


	2. Home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> T/W: Brief mention of an anxiety attack! 
> 
> Please take care of yourselves. x

_“FRIDAY, take me to Penny, please,” Peter requested, running into the elevator, paying no mind to all the Stark employees eyeing him oddly._

_He was late and his phone died. Peter cursed himself for not paying attention to the time, but he was pretty notorious for losing track of the time when he was out on patrol._

_Normally, it wouldn’t be too much of an issue. After all, he was only 10 minutes late._

_But he had Penny._

_Ever since Penny and Peter moved in with the Starks, they mentally created guidelines that they followed with each other to keep their separation anxieties at a minimum: stick to the regular schedule and always keep each other updated._

_What fell under those guidelines was that Peter was to come home by 12:00AM every weekend- and if he were to be out later, he would let Penny know._

_But it was now 12:13AM and Peter was tapping his foot nervously, willing the elevator to go faster._

_He wasn’t sure what scene was going to be before him. He wasn’t sure if Penny would be freaking out, or crying, or even angry with him._

_When the elevator doors finally opened and Peter walked onto the floor, he sure as hell wasn’t prepared to be presented with the scene before him._

_“Unicorn! Ummm.. rhino! Walrus? Uhh, bird? Giraffe?”_

_Penny groaned when the sound of an alarm rang through the air, and Tony walked away from his spot standing in front of Pepper and Penny, instead sitting next to Penny._

_“It was dinosaur, Pen! Couldn’t you tell with the arm movements?”_

_“Dinosaurs can’t even be considered animals Mr. Stark. They’re extinct! I demand a redo!”_

_“I’m with Penny on this one, only because I want to see you make a fool out of yourself again.”_

_Penny let out a loud laugh at that, one that had Tony and Pepper joining in, gazing at Penny with what could only be love in their eyes._

_At the oddly domestic scene before him, Peter felt his adrenaline begin to fade away and his heart slow, his own smile growing on his face._

_“Am I interrupting something, or?” Peter asked, making his presence known as he stepped into the living room area._

_Three loud choruses of “Peter!” chimes throughout the room._

_Tony and Pepper both got up to greet Peter, while Penny remained on the couch, her smile wider and her eyes happier than Peter’s seen from her since May had died._

_Pepper gave Peter a warm hug, a soft smile on her face, while Tony went up to his mentee (son) and clapped his shoulder with a squeeze before throwing his arm over Peter’s shoulders, guiding him further into the room._

_“Ah, my beloved mentee, how nice of you to join us on this fine night,” Tony quipped._

_“Mr. Stark, why are you talking like that?” Peter asked, a laugh at the edge of his voice._

_“He may or may not be on a sugar high. Penny baked a whole cake that he just demolished,” Pepper outed him quickly, causing Tony to feign betrayal._

_“Hey! Pen offered it to me, okay? I’m not going to say no after she slaved away at the kitchen.”_

_“Mr. Stark, it was literally a Betty Crocker cake. I was in the kitchen for less than an hour, at most.”_

_“Alright, alright! Can we just get on with the game now, please? We can even do boys versus girls now that the spider baby is here,” Tony switched the topic, making Penny and Pepper smirk at each other._

_Penny clapped her hands together before raising her voice. “Alright, everybody! It is now time for the Stark family game of charades! Tonight, it will be boys versus girls!”_

_Pepper and Tony clapped, and eventually Peter clapped along, only a bit taken aback the the surreality of the moment._

_“Peter, you okay?” Tony asked, and Peter’s eyes darted to Tony’s. There was a smile on his face, but his eyes, ever kind as they always were to Peter, held a twinge of concern in them._

_Peter looked at his laughing sister, and thought about how at home they both felt with Tony and Pepper. He thought about how maybe, just maybe, this could grow into a new normal for them. Just maybe._

_“I’m okay, Mr. Stark. Now, we need a battle plan. Because you are not very good at this game for a genius.”_

_Mr. Stark blew out a raspberry at Peter before making his usual snarky comment, causing Peter to smile and reply with a witty response back._

_He could hear Pepper and Penny laughing in the background, no doubt about Tony’s awful previous attempts at charades._

_Peter was happy._

* * *

Peter awoke with a jolt, his hands flying to his face to wipe the waterfall streaming down his face.

Despite the wetness of his face, Peter woke up feeling relatively... calm.

He still felt his chest hurt as he recalled the flashback in his dream, his heart full with love as he remembered how happy he felt in that moment as well as full with immense sadness as he realized that they would never get a moment like that ever again. His heart burned as he thought about Penny.

But aside from it all, Peter couldn’t ignore the fact that it was the very first day in 20 days that Peter didn’t wake up panicked from a nightmare.

It was the first time he dreamt about a memory. One of the happiest memories Peter had, and despite the calm, he couldn’t help the tears that kept falling down his face.

It’s been 20 days, and for the first time, Peter finally _felt_ something. He wasn’t sure if he was crying over the fact that he was still worked up over the dream, or if he was crying out of relief over feeling something, or all of the above.

It felt weird, unfamiliar, but it also felt... freeing. Liberating. Like he was breathing for the first time.

It was like he hadn’t walked in months, but he was finally taking his first few steps. It was wobbly, it was sloppy, but it was steps nonetheless.

“FRIDAY,” Peter called, his voice shaky as he looked at his bedside table to see the clock shining 4:32AM. “Is Mr. Stark awake?”

“Boss is currently asleep in his bedroom. Would you like me to alert him about your presence?”

“No, he needs the rest, FRI. I’ll just... Do you think it’s time that I see him?”

Peter knew FRIDAY was just an AI, but given that she was programmed by Tony, she had a lot of personality and thoughts that Peter sometimes forgot that she wasn’t an actual person.

“Boss has been anxiously anticipating your visit. He has your vitals on display on his bedside table 24 hours a day. He also asks Pepper about your well-being approximately eight times a day.”

Peter’s eyes widened before he looked down at his fingers, almost in shame. “That... you didn’t answer my question.”

“I think it’s clear Boss would love to see you, Peter.”

Peter almost felt a ghost of a smile on his lips, clearly hearing the sass in the AI’s tone.

“I think I’ll just... check on him. Really quickly. Because I know Pepper is on that trip and she won’t be back till tomorrow and... Yeah. I’ll just check on him. Just to be sure.”

Peter knew that if he wanted to check on Tony, which he has done frequently, FRIDAY could tell him and FRIDAY knew that as well, but the AI kept quiet as Peter stepped out of his room, hesitating only slightly as he listened hard to recognize if anybody in the house was awake.

Peter picked up on two strong heartbeats, knowing them to be Mr. Stark’s and Morgan’s, and one more faint heartbeat downstairs in the guest room, knowing it was Rhodey’s.

With the coast clear, Peter did his best to walk down the hallway as quietly as possible. He didn’t really know what he was doing, or what was driving him to do it, but he continued walking to his mentor/father’s room, ignoring his rising heart rate.

He only hesitated as he reached the door to his room, no longer hearing anything but the pounding of his own heart in his ears.

Before he could think twice and chicken out, Peter slowly and quietly pushed the handle of the door, slowly entering the room.

He was met with a relatively dark room, the only light in the room was from the hologram of Peter’s vitals shining on Tony’s bedside table, as FRIDAY had told him, and the soft light of the moon shining through the windows.

Peter froze for a moment, feeling his throat tighten, and suddenly he was afraid.

He knew Tony was awake; Pepper updates him on Tony’s progress everyday and he’s asked FRIDAY about his well-being everyday as well, and even so, here Tony was, asleep a few feet away from him.

And yet, the fear still kept crawling to his heart, telling him that it was all fake, it was all a dream he made up in his head- and the sleeping figure on the bed in front of him was another illusion.

Telling him that Tony was really dead.

Peter didn’t realize his breath was quickening until the figure on the bed shifted a bit, causing Peter to panic and lunge for the doorknob to make a quick escape.

“Pep?” The small voice asked sleepily, and Peter froze, his hand still on the doorknob.

Hearing that voice brought warmth to Peter’s head all the way down to his toes, but he still screwed his eyes shut painfully, unwilling to believe that he wasn’t making it up in his head.

Tony, still dreary, woke up a bit more and shifted on his bed to see the figure a bit better, once he didn’t get a response. The figure was frozen at his door, and Tony narrowed his eyes. He really hoped it wasn’t an intruder or anything. He could barely even walk for too long, much less fight.

After all, Iron Man was retired now. The jersey was hung up.

“FRIDAY, lights,” Tony spoke, his voice much more clear yet still gruff.

Tony winced at the sudden streak of light, but then it was his turn to be struck frozen as he saw who was standing at his door. “Peter?”

Peter felt his face grow red hot, and he cursed himself for feeling tears starting up again. He couldn’t look directly at Tony, only seeing him in the corner of his vision, afraid of looking at him and being met with the truth.

“Peter,” Tony’s voice was much softer as he repeated his name a second time, his tone filled with relief and almost a hint of desperation in it.

Peter squeezed his eyes shut, almost shaking his head.

_He’s not here, he’s not here, he’s not here._

“Kid,” Tony started, shifting in his bed slowly so he was sitting up, his legs hanging over the edge of his bed. “Look at me, bud.”

He just sounded so much like the Tony that Peter knew and loved, and when Tony asked or demanded Peter to do something, Peter always did it. So Peter couldn’t help but open his eyes and look at the figure on the bed.

At the sight before him, he immediately let out a choked sob, his body sliding to the floor.

Peter felt a wave of emotions all at once, as if those countless days of him feeling nothing were catching up to him.

He felt relief at seeing his dad in front him, he felt guilt that he was only now visiting him, he felt anger at Tony for replacing Penny, and then he felt more guilt at feeling angry in the first place.

It was all too much.

Why did it always have to be too much?

“Hey, it’s okay,” Tony whispered, holding Peter against him the best he could with one arm.

_Since when did he get up from his bed?_ Peter thought, but was immediately overwhelmed with the feeling of his dad holding him, and Peter just then realized how touch-deprived he’s been. _How much he needed this_ , and he hated himself for denying it for so long.

Peter turned his head into Tony’s chest, letting out all the pent up emotions from the last few weeks onto the person he wanted to see the most- aside from Penny...

“I’m sorry,” Peter gasped out once his tears subsided, and all that was left was shaky hiccups. “I’m so sorry, Mr. Stark.”

Peter felt Tony tense beneath him, but it was fleeting. “Nope. No apologies, Pete. Please. You have nothing to apologize for, and besides, it doesn’t bring up the best memories for me.”

_Mr. Stark, I don’t wanna go._

_Please, I don’t wanna go._

_I’m sorry._

Peter looked up at Tony, his eyes still watery, and saw that his eyes looked about the same.

Peter felt another _I’m sorry_ at the tip of his tongue, but he bit it down.

“I’ve missed you,” Tony’s voice was strained. “So much, Peter.”

Peter hugged Tony tighter, unsure of what to say in this moment, but Tony went on.

“I don’t exactly know what’s been going on in that brain of yours, or what exactly you’ve been up against, but I want you to know that I love you, so much, and I’m sorry I didn’t say it before but I did then and I do now. There’s nothing I love more than you and your sisters.”

_Sisters_. He had a sister, but now she’s gone and he has a new sister. Peter couldn’t help the twinge of anger and discomfort in him, and he gave an attempt of a smile before pulling away from Tony slightly.

Tony eyed him a bit warily, as if he were fragile, and Peter tried to shrug off the irritation he felt. He loved Tony, and he was so happy that he was back but... that didn’t fix everything. It didn’t make everything better.

Both Tony and Peter knew that.

“Hey, Pete,” Tony said, his tone shifting as he placed his hand behind Peter’s neck affectionately, willing the boy to look at him. “I’m so sorry about Penny. We had years to grieve her, but you lost her all in a day. I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you when it happened, bud.”

Peter’s eyes burned as he gazed at Tony as he spoke. All he could really hear was _we moved on, we have a real daughter now_ , and Peter inhaled deeply and closed his eyes briefly to will those thoughts away. It wasn’t the time.

Peter opened his eyes back up again and offered a weak smile. “No apologies, Mr. Stark, remember? I don’t want any apologies from you either.”

Tony could tell Peter was still holding back and hiding from him, but Tony didn’t want to push it. He just got his kid to finally visit him and speak to him, he didn’t want to mess it all up at once. He’d prod the kid as the days went on.

He didn’t want to lose him again when he just got him back.

He smiled at Peter with adoration as he moved his hair out of his face. “It’s a done deal, kiddo.”

They fell into a comfortable silence before Peter spoke up in a whisper. “I should’ve came to visit you when you first woke up.”

Tony let out an audible sigh, shutting his eyes. He couldn’t deny the fact that it hurt that his own kid wouldn’t come see him, when all Tony wanted was to have Peter by his side, but he understood that their predicament was... tricky. And Peter was, all in all, still a kid. A kid whose seen horrible things and a kid that was thrust into a brand new world without his sister by his side. As much as Tony’s gone through the past five years to now, Tony couldn’t imagine what it would be like to be in Peter’s shoes.

“But you’re here now, Pete,” Tony’s voice was soft. Peter noticed that Tony’s voice was a lot softer now than before the snap. _That’s what having your own kid does to you_ , Peter thought. His heart clenched. “That’s all I care about. Having you here, with me, now. Thank you for coming back to me.”

Peter could hear the weight behind those words.

_Thank you for coming back to me_.

And then there was the guilt again. Though Peter was sure it hadn’t fully left. It was merely waiting on the sidelines, waiting closely, as it always did.

He wasn’t entirely sure if he was completely all there. There was still a whole... surreality surrounding his life nowadays. He wasn’t sure what to make out of it all.

He wasn’t sure if all of himself came back to Tony, or if he would ever fully come back. He was afraid that Tony wouldn’t want the pieces of him that were here, but Peter instead decided to keep his mouth shut, his mind blazing, laying his head on Tony’s shoulder as he couldn’t help but repeat the same words he promised he wouldn’t say to Tony over in his head:

_I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry._

* * *

After moving to Tony’s bed, both Tony and Peter had fallen asleep.

Peter woke up at around 8:00AM, his senses alerting him to the ruckus downstairs. Her heard two voices speaking in the distance, which he heard to be Rhodey and Morgan, the sound of cooking, and the sound of the TV blaring.

Deciding to let Tony rest longer, Peter quietly got off the bed and decided to freshen up and then meet the two downstairs.

He was met with Rhodey in the kitchen, cooking what looked and smelled like pancakes and bacon, while Morgan munched on her food with her eyes trained on the TV.

“Good morning, Peter!” Rhodey greeted brightly, internally noting that today was a good day for Peter. If Peter came downstairs in the morning, then they all knew it was a good day for Peter. But if he stayed holed up in his room, it was best if he wasn’t bothered.

It was a gamble, but they all knew that Peter needed time to adjust, and soon enough there’d be more good days than bad ones.

“Morning, Mr. Rhodes,” Peter replied, not having to try so hard to smile at him. “You need any help?”

“It's Rhodey or Uncle Rhodey, remember? And no thanks, Peter. Go ahead and grab some food and you can go hang out with the little princess over there,” Rhodey denied quickly. They all wanted Peter to bond with Morgan, especially since Morgan desperately wanted to play with her older brother but while Peter tried, he was always... hesitant. Cautious.

Peter nodded and gave his thanks as he made himself a plate before heading over to the living room with Morgan.

“Peter! You’re here! Uncle Rhodey made pancakes, and they’re yummy, even though they’re not smiley face pancakes like Mommy and I always make. Did you get some?” Morgan chirped happily, ever the happy and outgoing child.

Peter, as always, tried to push aside the jealousy and slight resentment he felt towards the girl. She was just an innocent child who had done him no wrong, and Peter would hate himself if he ever mistreated her due to his own childish thoughts.

“Good morning, Morgan,” Peter smiled, sitting beside Morgan on the couch before eating his breakfast. “I did get some. They’re very yummy.”

“I know! I woke up at 6’o’clock today because I couldn’t sleep so I woke up Uncle Rhodey since Daddy still needs to rest and we watched Tangled! Have you ever watched Tangled? It’s my favorite. Rapunzel has long, pretty hair until Flynn- sorry, Eugene, I still forget- has to cut it in the end to protect her. It’s a really good movie,” Morgan rambled, her attention away from the TV and entirely on Peter.

Peter felt a bit sad at just how much Morgan craved his attention, because no matter how much he talked to her and tried to play with her, it always felt like something was holding himself back from fully bonding with her.

And he knew what it was.

He knew that it felt wrong, in a way, because he felt like if he got close to Morgan, he would replace his sister. And although everybody else was okay with Morgan replacing Penny, Peter sure as hell wasn’t going to do the same.

He’d never, ever replace Penny.

No matter how much he actually liked Morgan.

“It’s a really good movie, Mor. I used to watch it all the time with Penny,” Peter couldn’t help but slip out her name, but once he caught himself, he froze slightly. He hadn’t spoken her name out loud to anybody since he first found out those weeks ago.

“Penny watched Tangled too? Daddy and Mommy always said that she liked Harry Potter, and you liked Star Wars. I like Harry Potter and Star Wars too! Maybe we can watch all of those movies together,” Morgan beamed, but Peter only stared at her in disbelief.

He was expecting for Morgan to be confused at the mention of Penny, since she wasn’t even born when Penny had died. She never knew her.

So how did she know who Penny is?

“Y-you... you know who Penny is?” Peter asked, his voice quiet and strained, as if saying her name caused him physical pain.

Morgan didn’t seem to notice. “Yeah! I never met her though. Mommy and daddy said Penny is my big sister but she had to go to the stars before I could meet her. They also said that you went to the stars, too, but you came back even though they said you wouldn’t! So maybe Penny will come back from the stars soon too and we can watch movies together and play.”

Peter didn’t know he was crying until Morgan’s happy smile fell from her face and she gazed at Peter worriedly, looking so much like Pepper that Peter would’ve laughed if he wasn’t so distraught. “Petey? Are you okay?”

Peter felt his chest and throat tighten and he shut his eyes once again, the pain of Morgan’s innocent words hitting him like bricks.

_Morgan knew of Penny. Morgan thinks Penny will come back like I did. But she’s not. She’s not coming._

_She’s not coming back she’s not coming back she’s not-_

“Peter?” Suddenly a new voice came in the room, Rhodey’s, Peter realized, as his firm hand fell on his shoulder.

Peter jumped, making Rhodey pull his hand away.

Peter whirled around to see Rhodey standing before him, regarding him cautiously, Morgan no longer in the room.

He realized that he must’ve spaced out much longer than he noticed, and Morgan was probably so scared and ran to get her Uncle Rhodey.

Peter lunges to his feet, feeling like he was going to start turning into dust again. He grabbed his right arm, which was the first that began to turn to dust on Titan, and cradled it to his chest, as if doing that would make him stay solid.

“I’m sorry,” Peter stammered, and he was beginning to grow so tired of saying sorry, but he knew he’d always be doing something wrong that warranted the apology.

Rhodey’s face contorted into sympathy, even almost pity, and he took a step forward. “Peter, it’s okay.”

As he took a step forward, Peter took a step back suddenly, causing Rhodey to halt his steps. “I’m s-sorry, Mr. Rhodes. T-tell Morgan I’m so s-sorry,” Peter stuttered out before running out towards his room.

He slammed the door shut once he made it back into his room, locking it, before he tried heaving in another breath. Barely able to get air into his lungs, Peter fell to the floor, clutching his knees trying desperately to breathe, knowing he was experiencing an anxiety attack.

“Peter, you are experiencing a severe anxiety attack. Might I suggest you practice breathing exercises to get air into your lungs. I can assist you, if you’d like,” FRIDAY’s voice broke throughout the room, and Peter could only muster a frantic nod of his head, hoping the AI would understand his signal.

Luckily, she did, and FRIDAY coached Peter with breathing exercises that she no doubt used with Mr. Stark and maybe even Pepper, too, and Peter was able to breathe easier after a few minutes, although his hands still remained shaky.

“Thank you, FRIDAY,” Peter rasped out.

“No problem, Peter. I’m glad to see that your anxiety attack has passed.”

Peter nodded, before he sat on his bed, digging his head in his hands.

He felt himself begin to pull at his hair, his nervous tick, and as he did so his elbow clashed with his side table, causing something to fall onto the ground.

Ignoring the throbbing of his funny bone, Peter bent down to pick up what had fallen. It was a picture frame.

Before he could put the frame back, he flipped it over, and felt his breath get caught in his throat as he saw it was a picture of him, Penny, Aunt May, and Uncle Ben.

He shakily brought a finger to the picture, caressing the photo gently, his eyes soaking in the faces he so longed to see.

It was a picture taken a month before Ben died, and it was of them at Disneyland. Peter and Penny loved Disney, so for their 14th birthday, Aunt May and Uncle Ben had decided to take the two out to Anaheim to surprise them with Disneyland.

It was a picture that Peter cherished, and he felt his heart hurt as he wished that he could have this back. Have his _family_ back.

“FRIDAY,” Peter suddenly called out, his eyes still on the frame he held in his hands.

“Yes, Peter?”

“Would you happen to know where Penny is buried?” Peter asked, trying to make his voice as strong as possible. He hoped that Penny was buried at the same place as his parents and Aunt May and Uncle Ben.

“Penelope May Parker is buried alongside Richard, Mary, Benjamin, and May Parker in St. Mary’s Cemetery in Queens.”

Peter let out a breath, happy to know that at least his sister was resting next to those she loved most. It’s what she would’ve wanted, and he felt overwhelmingly grateful that Mr. Stark and Pepper had decided to do so.

“Okay. I’ll be right back, FRIDAY. Don’t alert anybody of my absence.”

FRIDAY paused, and Peter prayed that she wasn’t asking Tony for his permission, but she responded a few seconds later.

“I currently am not under any orders to restrict you from leaving the premise.”

Peter let out a relieved sigh. “Perfect. I’ll be back, FRI. Don’t tell anybody where I went, please. I need to be alone for this.”

“Certainly, Peter.”

Heading into his closet, Peter dug out his Spider-Man suit and tried to ignore the anxiety that clawed at him as he held the suit in his hands.

He hadn’t put on the suit since the battle at the compound, and he hadn’t wanted to.

But he knew he needed to do this.

So he slipped into his suit, purposely avoiding his reflection in the mirror, and opened his window before shooting a web at the trees ahead of him and swung out the window.

* * *

After spending a few moments with his parents and aunts and uncles gravestones, which lay next to each other, Peter went to his twin sister’s last, feeling shy and unprepared all of a sudden.

_Penelope May Parker_

_August 10, 2001 - June 3, 2018_

_Beloved sister, daughter, niece, and friend._

_“To the well-organized mind, death is but the next great adventure.”_

Peter sat softly on the ground in front of Penny’s gravestone, running his hands through his hair. He was in such a rush to get here that Peter didn’t even really know what he wanted to do or say, and he felt weird coming in empty-handed. It all felt wrong that his family lay before him, dug deep into the earth, while he sat in front of them alive and alone. It wasn’t fair.

Peter just sat, eyeing his sisters gravestone, as if frozen in time as the world went on around him. He didn’t keep track of the time– merely sitting in silence for as long as the world would allow him to.

“Hey Penny,” Peter said, finding the voice to speak after brewing in silence. “I don’t… I don’t really know why I’m here. I just saw a picture of you and just… now I’m here.”

Peter cleared his throat, swallowing the lump that was beginning to form. “You know me, I’m not the very best with words. That was always your thing. I always thought you’d be a writer of sorts when we got older but uh… yeah. I miss you.”

Footsteps were headed in Peter’s direction from behind as he spoke, stopping a few steps before reaching him, but Peter could not hear or see anything other than his own voice and Penny’s gravestone.

“I miss you, a lot, to the point that it hurts, you know? Missing mom and dad and… Uncle Ben and Aunt May… it always hurt. But I always had you, and we seemed to always share that hurt with each other so neither had to hurt too bad but now that you’re gone… it hurts. I constantly have this pain in my chest that never seems to go away. With everybody we lost, I knew life was unfair but I never thought it’d be you I lost.”

Peter paused to inhale a shaky breath, clutching his trembling hands to his chest, as if drawing further into himself. “Sometimes I wish I were with you. We were born into this world together. I literally don’t know what a life without you is supposed to look like, and I don’t want to. Sometimes, I just wish… that I stayed dead. That Mr. Stark didn’t snap his fingers and bring me back. Is that horrible to say? Of course it is. I know it is. I just know you’re completely horrified that I’d say that. Sorry, Pen. It’s just all so complicated.”

Letting out a loud sigh, Peter brought his knees up to his chest and hugged them close, his eyes burning but tears unwilling to fall. “I don’t know what to do, Penny. I wish you were here. We could’ve figured it out together. I can’t do it alone. But everything is so… so different. Five years passed, and you’re not here and Mr. Stark died in front of my eyes and he has a real kid with Pepper and it’s just so confusing. It’s like I’m being thrown in a world that I don’t belong in, and I’m just an intruder, and it just feels like it’s only a matter of time before I turn back into dust again.”

Peter rubbed his eyes, and then rested his head on his knees, suddenly tiring of looking at his sister’s gravestone when all he wanted was to look into her eyes instead. “I came back wrong, Penny. I don’t feel like me. I’m a lot more angry than I ever remember being. God, Penny, can you believe that I hold resentment over a five year old child? Not just a child, but Mr. Stark’s and Pepper’s child, the one that’s supposed to be my younger sister, and I refuse to get close to her. It’s not her fault, and I feel terrible dismissing her but… I can’t replace you, Penny. And I’m just in the way. Mr. Stark and Pepper have their own, real kid now. They were so happy to see me, but what happens when they realize that I’m not the Peter they knew five years ago? Or when they realize that they don’t want me anymore because they already have Morgan?”

Peter would’ve continued on, his words coming out like word vomit, but he became aware of a presence sitting down next to him. Peter’s head flicked up towards the intruder, and his eyes widened at the sight of him.

“Hey Pen, Parkers,” Tony started, struggling to sit himself on the ground with his one arm, avoiding eye contact with the stupid, _stupid_ boy next to him and instead looking towards Penny’s stone. “Sorry I haven’t been around as much, just saving the universe and whatnot. But Pepper’s been around and I see that she’s been bringing you all tulips this time around. And next week, it’ll probably be Lillies, by my guess.”

Peter’s eyes flickered towards the gravestones at the mentions of flowers, and just spotted the handful of bright, fresh flowers at each other Parkers’ graves, a clear indication that someone had recently visited.

_How did I not notice them before?_ Peter asked himself in his head, but his thoughts vanished as Mr. Stark continued to speak.

“I don’t know if you remember our conversation nearly a month ago, Pen. Who am I kidding, with your quick-witted brain, of course you remember. Anyway, to update you on my plan, I did it, baby girl. I built the time machine, snapped my fingers, defeated Thanos, and brought everybody back. I nearly died doing it, too, but you already know I was prepared for that. All I ever cared about was bringing your idiot of a brother back, and I did like I promised you I would. I might have failed you Pen, and I could never forgive myself for that, but I was determined to not fail Peter too. But I guess I truly did fail.”

Peter eyed Tony, who continued to avoid Peter’s gaze, and Peter could tell that there was sadness and frustration pent up in him by the way he spoke.

“I must have failed because if your brother is feeling like he’s defected, like he doesn’t belong in our family anymore, and that Pepper and I replaced you with Morgan, then I must be a shittier parent than I thought I was and something has got to give,” Tony’s voice was intense as he said this, before turning to finally look at his son, his eyes rimmed with red and shining with so much hurt and pain that Peter flinched. “How could you feel that way, Peter? You, _you_ , are my kid. _You_ are Pepper’s kid, too. _You_ are just as much our kid as Morgan is, just as Penny is our daughter just as much as either of you. There is nothing, and I repeat nothing, that I wouldn’t do for any of you.”

Peter felt his own eyes begin to shine with tears as Tony’s voice dripped with utter pain, pain that Peter was causing him, tears streaming down his father’s face. Peter opened his mouth to respond but Tony beat him to it.

“You know, Pepper and I lost you both at once. _I held you_ in my arms as you faded to dust. I’ve never been a stranger to pain, obviously, but I had never experienced a pain greater than when you dusted in my arms and I, the great Iron Man, could do nothing about it. When I nearly died in space and then came back to Earth, I had to tell Pepper you were gone, and she told me that Penny was gone. By a car accident, not even by Thanos. God, I can’t even begin to tell you how much it killed us, Peter. Pepper and I nearly split up over our grief.

But once we got our heads out of the gutter for long enough we grieved the loss of our children together as we should’ve done in the beginning, but that didn’t mean we forgot you both. No way in hell was that ever possible. We spoke about you both every single day, and even built rooms for you two in the lake house. We went to the cemetery to visit every single week, and continue to do so now, hence the flowers. And when we found out about Morgan, we vowed that she would know her siblings. Morgan grew up on stories about Peter and Penny, her older brother and sister in the stars. Never, and I mean never, have we ever thought of replacing either of you. There will always be a hole in our hearts with the loss of Penny, but we knew she would not want us living our lives grieving her loss. So we do the best we can to make that beautiful girl proud.

And now we got you back, Peter, and it’s all I ever wanted since I first lost you. I always knew deep down that you weren’t truly gone, and it took me time but I built that time machine for you. Not for the world, not even the universe, but for you. I needed you back, and I was prepared to give my life to see that through. Do you think I’d do that if I didn’t see you as my child? You are my kid, Peter, and you belong in this life, on this planet, with all of us. With your _family_. We just got you back and we are not letting you go, kid. For God’s sake, I’m here arent I? I’m on Doctor’s orders to stay in bed and here I am, sitting on damp grass getting my ass wet with you.”

Peter looked at Tony, seeing tears falling down his face, and Peter open and closed his mouth like a fish, overwhelmed and uncertain of what to say. _How could he have possibly gotten this all wrong?_

“Mr. Stark, I’m-“

“If the words ‘I’m sorry’ are about to come out of your mouth then I’d prefer if you just stopped there, kid. I don’t want and don’t need your apology. What I need is for you to tell me you understand how important you are to this family, how important Penny is too, and that you’ll at least try to talk to me about how you’re feeling instead of trying to cope with it yourself. I need you to tell me you understand, Peter,” Tony interrupted with a wave of his hand, and Peter clamped his mouth shut. .

With a mix of shame and relief pouring onto Peter, Peter replied, “I understand, Mr. Stark. It’ll take me a while to fully understand, but I’m open to it.”

Visibly relaxing, Tony let out a breath and wiped his eyes before resting his hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Tony, kid. You call Pepper Pepper, I think it’s about time you call your old man by his first name. And that’s great, Pete. God, you have no idea how good it is to hear you say that. You’ve really put Pep and I through the wringer this past month.”

“I’m-“

“Ah, ah, ah,” Tony cut in. “Not trying to hear those words, remember? Nothing to be sorry for, anyways. It’s part of the job to have your kid do that to you as a parent. Now, come here.” Tony opened his arm for a hug, and Peter sniffed before he wrapped his arms around Toy’s middle.

Tony put his one arm around Peter before slightly ‘tsk’ing to himself. “I can’t wait until I’m fully mended so you and I can head down to the lab and create a new arm for me. That way I can hug you and Morgan at the same time.”

This suddenly made Peter jolt and pull away, his eyes wide. “Mr. S- Tony, you’re supposed to be in bed! Y-you need to be resting, let’s go,” Peter jumped up and didn’t wait for a response before he helped Tony stand up as well. “You need to go home.”

“ _We_ need to go _our_ home,” Tony corrected, but didn’t take any step to head back. “Pep’s probably worried sick. But we can stay if you want to for a bit longer, Pete, even though you’ve been here for two hours already. I don’t want to rush you.” Tony then gestured to the five graves in front of them, and only then did Peter hesitate from his panic to get Tony home.

“I’ve been here two hours?”

Tony nodded.

Peter looked at the graves before going to each one and transferring a kiss from his hands to the gravestones, lingering a little longer on Penny’s. “We… we can go. But is it okay if I come visit again sometime soon?”

Tony wrapped his arm around Peter’s shoulder, his eyes softening. “Of course, buddy. Pepper, Morgan, and I visit every Saturday. You’ll come with us.”

Peter’s eyes watered as he imagined his new family with his family at the cemetery, and he leaned into Tony’s side. “Thanks.”

Tony gripped Peter tighter as they turned to head out the cemetery, sparing one last glance at the grave behind him, a soft, sad smile on his face.

* * *

As soon as Happy pulled up to the house, Peter could see Pepper waiting on the front porch. He half expected her to be, since Pepper was always such a worry wart when it came to Peter, but what wasn’t expecting was for her to be dressed in all black. Now that he thought about it, Tony and Happy were both wearing all black as well.

Peter didn’t get a chance to ask, because both Tony and Happy exited the car and Pepper was already practically rushing to meet them. When Peter opened his car door to step out, Pepper was hugging Tony, before she pulled back and reprimanded him for pulling such an “idiotic stunt.” But once Peter had closed the car door, Pepper stopped what she was saying before rushing to Peter, pulling him in a hug.

“Peter! Thank God you’re okay,” Pepper held him close, as if cradling a child. Peter basked in her embrace, wrapping his own arms around her.

“Sorry for causing a scene, Pepper,” Peter replied, feeling bad over worrying the person who’s been taking care of him the past few weeks without any complaint.

Before Pepper could fully pull away, he felt her place a kiss on the side of his head, surprising Peter. “I’m just glad you’re okay. You _are_ okay, right?”

Peter could tell there was an underlying message in her tone as she asked if he was okay, and Peter gave her a soft smile and nod. “I’m okay.”

Pepper’s grin reaches ear to ear as she pulled him in for another quick hug before pulling back and giving her attention to Tony and Happy. “Alright. So, everything is ready, Rhodey and Morgan are already by the dock.”

“Okay, I’ll go help Rhodes with the little crazy,” Happy said before turning around and heading towards the dock.

Peter watched Happy go before looking at his parents with confusion. “What’s going on?”

Pepper glanced at Tony before looking back at Peter, a soft smile on her face. “We realized that while we have had a chance to say goodbye to Penny, you haven’t. So, we wanted to give you that opportunity.”

Peter was still confused. How was he going to say bye to his sister here? What were they planning to do?

“I can practically see the gears turning in your head, kid. Relax. We have it all figured out, just trust us. Right now, all you have to do is change into something black, or whatever you’d like if you don’t dig the whole “wear black at funerals” sort of thing, and come down to the dock with Pepper and I,” Tony interjected.

Peter looked at both of them, deciding it was better not to argue or ask any more questions, and nodded before he turned to go upstairs and change as they told him to.

By the time Peter changed into a black outfit, he took a deep, steady breath before headed downstairs to meet Tony and Pepper.

“Ready?” Pepper asked.

“Not really sure what I’m ready for, but as ready as I’ll ever be.”

“That’s the spirit.”

Once they went outside, Peter could see Rhodey, Morgan, and Happy, all in black attire out on the dock, Morgan happily riding Rhodey’s back while Happy held what looked like flowers in his hand.

“Petey! Are you feeling better?” Morgan shouted as her brother and parents approached, fidgeting to be put down so she could run towards Peter.

Peter crouched down to meet Morgan’s height, and was shocked to feel a wide smile plaster on his face. “Much better. Thanks Morgan.”

Morgan smiled before she grabbed his hand and tugged him forward to where Happy was standing with what looked like a big wreath of flowers. “Look! We got flowers for Penny!We’re going to put the flowers in the lake so we can say goodbye.”

Peter felt his heart begin thumping as he took in the flower wreath in Happy’s hands, which was decorated with white fabrics that had “Penny Parker” and “We love and miss you” written beautifully on it. Peter’s eyes then went to look at Happy, then Rhodey, then towards Tony and Pepper, who all gave him a soft, encouraging smile that had Peter’s eyes watering.

Happy handed the wreath to Peter, who took it from Happy gently, the tears building up as he noticed that there were wallet sized pictures of Penny, as well as more pictures of Penny with Peter, their aunt and uncle, and Pepper and Tony, as well as child-like drawings that was obviously drawn by Morgan.

Peter’s throat began to tighten as he looked at everyone standing before him, gratitude filling his whole body. “I... Thank you. She would’ve loved this.”

Peter then placed the wreath onto the lake, watching it float further and further away, the sun glistening on the water.

“Umm. Is it okay if I say a few words?” Peter asked, turning his head to look back.

“Please do, Peter,” Pepper responded kindly, now holding Morgan against her chest, the little girls head tucked against her mom’s neck.

Peter cleared his throat before looking back at the wreath floating on the calm water, figuring it would be easier to speak if he wasn’t looking at everybody. “First, I just wanted to say that Penny loved each of you so much. And I know for a fact that she would’ve loved Morgan. She... We were lucky to have you all. You became our family. You are our family.”

Peter paused, a comfortable silence settling in the atmosphere. After a few moments of watching the wreath float further away towards the horizon, Peter spoke up again, this time directed to Penny.

“Hey Penny. I wish you were here. I don’t think there’ll ever be a time where I wish you weren’t here, but I know that one day, I’ll see you again. At first, I struggled hard thinking of living my life without you. But now I realize, I’ll never be without you. You’re with me at every step, every breath, every laugh, every tear, at every moment of my life, I hold you with me like I hold mom, dad, Uncle Ben, and Aunt May with me. How lucky am I to have five angels looking over me.

I miss you. I’ll never stop missing you. And I bet you’re making fun of me right now for getting all sentimental over here,” Peter let out a wet chuckle, ignoring the sniffles he heard from behind him. “You take care of our family up in heaven. I got it down here with our family on Earth. Love you, forever, Pen.”

Peter sat for a few more moments after finishing, feeling like a weight was released off of his shoulders, closing his eyes as he envisioned a smiling Penny surrounded by their family looking down at them.

Letting out one more breath, Peter got up and turned around, smiling at his family.

Pepper and Tony were openly crying, with Happy and Rhodey standing with suspiciously red eyes. Morgan was fast asleep on her mother. Tony came up to Peter, wrapping an arm around his shoulder, whispering, “I’m proud of you, kiddo,” before pulling away to drink Peter in.

“We’re gonna go head back in to give you a few moments alone. When you’re ready, we’ll be there for you, alright?” Tony said, his grip on Peter’s shoulder firm and grounding.

As everyone turned to leave, Peter stopped them.

“Wait,” everyone turned around, uncertain of what Peter wanted. Peter gave a lopsided smile. “I’ll go back in with you. I think it’s about time I spend time with my family.”

Rhodey and Happy clapped each other’s shoulders, smiling proudly at the boy before them.

Pepper’s eyes watered even further, pride emanating off of her as she smiled at her son.

Tony let out a quick laugh, his smile wide, before he went back to wrap his arm around his kid and held him tight.

“Alright, buddy. Let’s go home.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well! The end!
> 
> I hope you enjoyed this one– it was a bit tricky to write in only two chapters.
> 
> Thank you to everybody who read! I hope you're all doing well during these chaotic times. 
> 
> Stay safe, healthy, and remember to always take care of yourselves. Until next time! xo

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody! 
> 
> I hope you’re all safe and healthy and *home* during these crazy times.
> 
> Now, this work is something that’s been on my mind for a few months now and since we have a lot of extra time on ours hands, I thought that it was a perfect time to get it out of me.
> 
> This is, once again, another sad, whump story with its little glimmer of hope at its end, much like every story I write. I promise to write at least one fluffy, happy story some time soon! Peter and Tony deserve it!!
> 
> Anyways, I hope you enjoyed this story (please leave a comment if you did, I thrive off of your replies). There will be one more chapter to this story, so I’ll see you in Chapter 2!
> 
> Take care of yourselves. X


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